i am lauren, therefore…

{December 31, 2009}   happy… new year’s eve

i have been thinking for the past week about my new year’s resolutions and… i have none! there are absolutely no things that i would like to change about myself, nor any bad habits that i really want to break, all of the things that i desire i have absolutely no ability to affect their occurrence, so instead….  a new year’s wish list.

1.) a great job (salary, medical benefits, tuition reimbursement, pto, and tolerable boss/co-workers)

2.) a vacation or two (provided i get the great job), i want to go back to vegas for my birthday and i’d like to go to brazil or puerto rico for the other trip

3.) well i don’t necessarily need this one in 2010 but hopefully i will set a course that will lead to it… tiffany engagement ring 1.5 ct tiffany setting in platinum vvs2 f or better

4.) becoming debt free (other than my student loans)

5.) happiness

what’s on your new year’s wishlist?



{December 30, 2009}   i just don’t understand…

well, first let me start by acknowledging what i do understand. i comprehend that the black community has numerous struggles and issues that WE are trying to overcome.   i understand that these issues range from skin issues to racism, obesity to education (or lack thereof), and even finances.  while i do not believe that turning a blind eye to these deficiencies is the answer, i believe constantly addressing them on a public platform certainly is not. after all, it’s not like the people who these messages are directed toward are the ones that are actually listening.

i am so tired of seeing celebrities speak out about the faults of the black community without doing enough to address the issues.  they are so out of touch with what it is to be a young, uneducated, black youth that they cannot begin to fathom the difficulties involved in surmounting such a difficult upbringing.  they are standing on a platform pointing a finger downward at a generation that was nothing like their own.

i am equally exhausted when i read black media outlets such as media takeout where the readers and the writers are so quick to bash other black people.  i may receive some flack for this, but MTO and sites like it although they “try” (i guess) to offer a balanced perspective… i see so much biased, negative, anti-black sentiment that its hard to differentiate the site from one setup by a hate group instead.

i guess what i’m trying to get at is, many other communities face the same issues that our community does, but they have chosen not to display it in the same way that we have. i don’t go on white or indian or nigerian or jamaican sites and see them blasting one another accusing them of ruining their race or being disgraceful.

if we don’t want other groups to hate us, we have to start loving ourselves for better or for worse.  the next time that you think about leaving a negative comment, making a loud statement, or denouncing someone else’s life decisions… STOP!!! take a moment and think about what YOU are doing, what YOU have done in order to help the problem. if you haven’t personally bought someone clothing that would be professional or age-appropriate, nor coached someone on speaking grammatically correct, or even counseled a family on financial matters then kindly step off of the platform that you are preaching from and use your wisdom in order to make a difference.q1`

{December 29, 2009}   world, hello

welcome to my new blog. this will be the site of my random thoughts, unsolicited opinions, dramatic existence, unanswered questions, and occasional new recipes to try. if you like something drop me a line and if you don’t well… who asked you? lol.

soooo… down to business.

i am still tickled pink from last night. there is a musician that i met about a month ago and he has definitely caught my “long-term” attention. i don’t remember the last time i was able to lay in bed and just talk to someone all night about everything. we talked about our childhoods and our outlooks on life, we shared secrets and laughs, we giggled and we flirted, and there were even somber moments but we just kept talking.  he impresses me so much because of the way he makes me feel… and i suppose that is to feel like a woman. he’s strong, yet gentle, attractive, yet rugged, boyish, yet definitely a man, inexperienced yet worldly… and so much more.  the problem is… i have another “situation” which we’ll discuss tomorrow…

et cetera